Tuesday, February 05, 2008

What's up, D?

You all may be wondering what the heck has been going on with me lately. And I don't blame you.

"You never call, you never write, you never blog!"

I know. I'm sorry!

So here's the gist of it, if I may be so honest, and I think I can, since I'm speaking mostly to mommies, daddies, and photographers...

Last year was sort of an "experiment". Can this mommy of now three work from home and keep her sanity?? I actually didn't realize it was an experiment until recently. In my mind, what was one more child? Get back to work and stop whining already!

So what happened? Well, my baby hit age one, and developed her personality. If any of you have had the "experience" of meeting my 1 yr old, she is what we like to call a "Toddler Tornado" or "Tasmanian Toddler". She has no fear of ANYTHING, and leaves a path of destruction everywhere she goes.

What else happened? Well, it became very, very clear to me that my family needed me. Several home events, including Maddy's severe illnesses, had profound effects on my life. Over the last few months with some much needed wisdom from others, I have had to take a very honest inventory of my life and have discovered that I really stink at being a work-at-home mom of three. It's funny, because the number one thing people say to me is "How in the world do you do it?" And my answer is "I'm not doing it." And I know you all thought I was kidding, but it's the truth. I was failing miserably. And I don't want to do that anymore!

So what does this mean? No, I'm NOT quitting anything, if that's what you're thinking. I LOVE my job and I need my job. I have to work.

But what I have done is begun to streamline my workflow a bit and rearrange a few things to accomodate my family. This means less computer and phone time during the day, slightly longer turnaround times on your orders and proofs, fewer nighttime ordering appointments, seasonal increases, fewer "specialty items" that take too much time, and less Saturday sessions. I am the queen of people-pleasing, and so this transition is going to be a hard one for me. But for me to be able to continue on, it's necessary.

This is so hard for me, to be really honest. When I started my business, my career took the fast track and I had the world at my door. Magazine covers, commercial clients, local celebrities, endless phone calls and emails...The thing about following your passion is that once you decide to take that first step, everything kind of falls into place and the universe is yours if you want it. But something I've had to focus on over the 8 years I've been doing this--the reason I started this in the first place was so I could be there for my children--and as soon as I lose sight of that and get caught up in the money or the competition, my home life suffers. 4 years from now when my baby starts Kindergarten, things will change and I can chase all that is out there...but until then, I need to refocus every now and then and make sure I am being the best Mommy I can be!

I'm probably saying too much, but I know that you parents out there can likely relate to the whole struggle of career vs. family. Just to be clear, I know lots of moms and dads out there that are excellent at doing both--I am just NOT one of them. I don't multi-task well! In fact, one of my close friends is a photographer doing the same type of work as I am, takes more clients than I do, and still volunteers for her children's schools and spends tons of time with them. She is an excellent working mommy. I feel relieved to finally admit to myself that me=not so much!!

So I guess all I'm really saying is, if you notice some changes around here, just know that I have only the best intentions-the same intentions as every other mom out there trying to do her best and balance it all.

Love to you all,


Lifeprints said...

Good for you! =)Shandon

amy barry said...

Oh my goodness. I want to re-post what you wrote as my life. Every detail is exactly ME including the Tasmanian Toddler. Our lil one is destructive! My life is insane. I am trying to keep my head above water. Some days I cry because I can't do it all. HUGS!

Jayme Tighe said...

GOOD FOR YOU for ensuring you do what YOU need to do for your kids.... but most importantly for YOU.